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“After a month, I realized Bill was the one for me.”

By Leslie S., Arlington, Texas
Bill and Leslie Bill and Leslie

I dated online sporadically for several years, looking for a long-term relationship. I used (two other online dating sites) but kept meeting guys who didn't want a commitment or didn't know what they wanted. So I took a sabbatical from online dating. It was after my cousin's wedding that I decided to give it another shot - this time with Yahoo! Personals. I said, what the heck, let's try this. Worst case, maybe I'll make a friend or two.

Going the distance

I posted my profile with the headline "Confident Woman Seeks Bug Killer." One of the first men to respond was Bill in Austin, Texas. That's three hours from me and normally I would have said, "Thanks but you live too far away." But I liked the email and photos he sent, and I figured you have to drive everywhere in Texas anyway, so I gave him a chance. For the next month we sent emails, instant messages and talked on the phone. Meanwhile I was still meeting other men through my profile.

When Bill had business in Dallas, we finally met in person. I was really nervous because we were getting along so well. Sometimes, with other guys, the phone/email part is great, but when you meet in person everything changes. So, with Bill, I was waiting for something to go wrong. But once we met, I knew I didn't need to meet anyone else. I took down my Yahoo! profile and the rest is history.

Making long-distance romance work

The biggest obstacle was not being able to see each other on a daily basis. But we phoned and emailed each other every day. One good thing is that I got to know him as a person first, and the relationship was based more on our thoughts and beliefs than on physical appearance. I think we moved along a bit faster than we might have had we lived in the same town. Also, we are both older, so we had been through the games and knew what we wanted from a relationship. I know Bill was thinking long-term a few months before I got to that point!

Bill proposed to me 10 months after we met. We recently celebrated our first anniversary and live in the Dallas area. Luckily, Bill received a job offer here, so deciding where to live was not a big issue with us. Just goes to show you that long-distance can work out. If I had originally said "no" to him or he had not looked in Dallas, we might never have met and wouldn't know the happiness that we share.

Long-distance dating tips from Leslie and Bill

  • Expand your range: Don't discount someone just because they live far away. They may be the right person for you. At least give it a chance, especially if you are open to relocating.
  • Take your time: Ask lots of questions at first. Figuring out if you are compatible on an intellectual level is even more important for long-distance romance, because you want to really know someone before you start making trips back and forth.
  • Stick to a schedule: We were 3 hours apart, so we talked on the phone during the week and visited on weekends. Be willing to see each other at least twice a month, more if your schedules allow it. If you commit to a schedule early on, you won't miss out on quality time with each other.
  • Mark your calendars: If you are more than a few hours' drive apart, set up a regular travel schedule for visits -- for example, every other weekend. Flying gets expensive, but if you plan ahead you can find cheaper fares.
  • Deciding who travels: One of you may have a more flexible schedule and do most of the traveling. But make sure you take turns traveling at some point. That way, you can both get to know the other person on their home turf and meet friends and family.
  • Making the move: Be willing to consider moving to the other person's town if things should get serious. Each place has something good to offer, and both must be weighed against each other to find the best place for both of you.
  • Take Your Time: When you get many email responses quickly, it's tempting to fall in love fast. Don't jump into an exclusive relationship. Explore all your options - that's what this is about, meeting new people.

Tips from Leslie

  • Honesty Works: Be honest about what you want. I was very straightforward in my profile and said what I didn't want. One guy responded to me, "Do you realize you just cut out 85 percent of men?" I thought, "Then my profile is doing its job!"
  • Take Chances: Have a few deal breakers - things you absolutely don't want in a person, such as a smoker or drinker. But don't be too rigid. Be flexible in other areas, such as dating a divorced person when you would really prefer someone who's never been married. Give them a chance if they meet all your other qualifications.

Do you have a love story to share? Let us know!

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