 |  | ||
| < back to boston.com | Welcome | ||
| Home | Search | | Mailbox | Who’s Saved Me | Who’s Viewed Me | Create a FREE Profile | Subscribe |
About Dating & Relationships > Singles: Life & Times > You get an email from someone you don't think you're interested in...
Our audacious dating reporter asks…
You get an email from someone you don't think you're interested in. What should you do?
 |
Summer, 45, Dallas I get those all the time for various reasons. I most of the time thank them for "the compliment" or for their "expression of interest". I think that's the polite thing to do because they took the time to write to me and express something they thought or felt. If they continue to write and I choose not to invest time in a pen pal relationship with them, then I write "Thanks, but no thanks." |
|
 |
Paul, 33, Los Angeles Oh this is pretty easy - just be civil and/or cordial without saying anything they may interpret as mutual interest. "Take care" usually does it when ending the email response. |
|
 |
Ronna, 35, Redmond, Wash. Say thank you but not interested or ignore... Depends on the kind of time you have to correspond. |
|
 |
Freddie, 56, Phoenix I do not reply to the individual. I do not know them, and see no need to do so. |
|
 |
Erin, 25, Santa Monica, Calif. It depends how much free time you have on your hands. If I have time to respond, I just thank them for the email and tell them good luck on their search. If not, I just hope they don't get mad at me for not responding. |
|
 |
Christian, 27, West Hollywood, Calif. Well, you have two options: you can either ignore the e-mail and assume they'll get the picture, or you can write back and say, "Sorry, not interested." I think we're at a point now that if someone doesn't write back, we can pretty much read between the lines and figure out the feeling's not mutual. On the other hand, it kind of cheapens the experience...that so many people out there, it's kind of like a dime a dozen. I think the more powerful thing to do is to send a brief note back thanking them but saying you're not interested. |
|
 |
Sylvia, Kingsville, Texas Don't answer it. Delete it; don't waste your time or his/hers. |
|
 |
Jeremy, 27, Denver Be honest! Tell them that you aren't really into them or that you aren't attracted to them or whatever the situation calls for. Don't do what most do and stop emailing for no apparent reason. Just be up front with the person. |
|
 |
Kathryn, 34, Northville, Mich. I try to respond to everyone (thought after the Real People took off it's just impossible!), even if it's just to say thanks for the compliment (we hope) and I don't think we would be a match....and I wish them luck in their search! |
|
 |
Tim, 41, Springtown, Texas I respectfully thank them for the mail and their interest. Then I explain the disinterest and it usually comes in a polite tone of truth. Now, if I'm flooded with interest/emails, just a, "thanks, but no thanks" is in order. |
|
 |
Julie, 40, Los Angeles I really like to acknowledge people when they've put themselves out there in an email, not necessarily in an Icebreaker but definitely in an email. I'm direct, which may not be for everyone but I thank them for their interest, tell them they don't fit my profile and wish them luck. |
|
 |
Laura, 35, Los Angeles I get a lot of emails so I can't possibly respond to everyone. But if I have the time, I write a quick thank you and leave it at that. But a lot of men take that as a green light no matter what the email says and they continue to write. Give him an inch and they take a mile. |
|
|
|
Kathryn, 34, Northville, Mich. I try to respond to everyone (thought after the Real People took off it's just impossible!), even if it's just to say thanks for the compliment (we hope) and I don't think we would be a match....and I wish them luck in their search |
|
Got dating questions?
We know people who have answers. Submit your dating questions here.
