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About Dating & Relationships > Singles: Life & Times > Are your friends involved your online dating activities?
How do you involve your friends in your online dating activities? Is your family involved, too?
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Ruth, 49, Kennesaw, Georgia My friends have been a great source of support. It has become a ritual at Wednesday night choir practice to give an update on the “latest and greatest”!! They have helped me keep my priorities in order as to what I am looking for. Family involved? Does it count that I have my sister using the service too?! |
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Wes, 30, Bloomington, Minnesota I've haven't let many of my friends in on the secret just yet. Not sure why, but I do enjoy keeping this aspect of my life to myself. My family is aware and have been very supportive. Between me and the rest of the world, I think they're on board with just about anything that gets them closer to grandkids. |
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Michelle, 32, Rochester, New York I involve both my friends and family in my online dating experiences. When I think someone is cute or my fit, I always email the profile to them to see what they think. If I set up a date for coffee, sometimes my mother and sister go to the same place and silently watch from another table at the cafe. Then we talk about what we thought! I also email my friends guys who I think would be a good fit for them. |
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Scott, 43, Cedar Park, Texas Yes, I have involved my friends and family in my Yahoo! Personals. I have several friends who are on the Internet, both men and women. We've actually had group discussions about how to improve our profiles, and we've also served as sounding boards for one another on dating and relationships. As for my family, I have a younger brother who is newly single, and I've encouraged him to try Yahoo! Although he is resisting, I think he'll eventually come around. The rest of my family is very excited for me about Real People, and they've all been great. I have a big family, and I've shared my experience with all of them and we've had a lot of fun with it. |
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Nina, 22, Chapel Hill, North Carolina When I first told my dad, he was apprehensive. I then explained to him that it isn't like looking at random pictures of guys and then meeting them in a low-lighted bar in an alley! I explained to skeptical friends, too, about how you actually can get to know people very well before you even take the next big step of meeting them in person. Many of my friends like the idea that you can completely communicate through Yahoo! Personals email without giving out your own email. I have convinced a few friends to join Personals, and one of them is currently dating someone they met here! If I do decide to meet someone from Personals, I usually will take a friend along for the first time. |
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Carl, 35, Foxboro, Massachusetts I really do not involve my family, however, I often talk to my sister Angela and my best friend Dave about my experiences in the dating world. David actually got me on this dating thing. He was always saying, “It’s all about opportunity. I meet people and you can too…You are also good-looking, so it helps…Don’t worry about what other people think, you will be meeting and going out with way more people.” You know, he was right. In order for this dating thing to work, you have to make the decision to go on and forget what people think. |
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Aubrey, 22, Wheaton, Illinois After I've already gone out with a guy once or twice and have a good feeling about him, I like to have him meet and go out with a group of my friends, just to see how he interacts with groups of people. I always like to hear my friends' feedback -- sometimes they see things you don't. Usually I wait for family to meet them until I'm sure it's something that will be long-term. Except for my sister -- she always gets a say right away, and she loves everybody. |
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Doug, 30, Atlanta, Georgia When it comes to online dating, my best friend set up my profile for me because he had used Personals for awhile, so it gave me the jumpstart. A good friend with online experience is a great tool in getting the ball rolling to meet great people who fit what you are looking for. |
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Jacob, 26, Houston, Texas Most of my friends do know I am doing the online dating thing and occasionally, if there is someone interesting, I'll show them their profile -- rarely though. My family isn't really involved, except for reading over my profile to give their input on making any changes to it. It is very humorous to get a message from someone you've made friends with -- in my case, country dancing on Friday nights -- not knowing you were both on Yahoo! Personals. |
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Susan, 34, Atlanta, Georgia Most of my single friends are online dating as well. We share stories and encourage one another. Since my friends and family are engaged in my online experiences, there’s no longer a stigma, so I can relax and have fun with it. |
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Christopher, 27, Charlotte, North Carolina Honestly, I have always been skeptical of letting my friends and family know about my involvement in online dating, but I see it is gaining acceptance. I sometimes discuss online dating with my friends, and they seem to think it is also a good idea. |
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Emily, 23, Henderson, Nevada My friends and family aren’t involved with my online dating. If I started dating someone seriously, then sure, we would go out with my friends and I would eventually introduce him to my family. For now I just let them know where I am going and who I am going to be with, for safety. |
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Lance, 37, Columbus, Ohio I involve my friends and family by talking about the overall experience with them. Some of them are curious about the process, and I think some just like to live vicariously through me and listen to my stories. |
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Ryan, 25, Santa Monica, California Many of my friends have met their boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses online, especially in the last few years, so in some ways they are responsible for encouraging me to do it. My family is curious about the whole thing. In the last few years I think online dating has become much more socially acceptable, so people tend to have a better reaction when they hear that you met your significant other in that way. |
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Amy, 38, Santa Clara, California My friends and family have read and critiqued my profile. Several girlfriends created a search for their idea of my ideal guy; they saved profiles they felt were a good match for me. They strongly urged me to write to the guys and continued to follow up until I complied! |
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Doug, 44, Tucson, Arizona Well, I don’t really involve my friends or family. It would be kind of difficult to include them, unless they were on Yahoo! Personals also and passed judgment on some profile you were looking at! My friends and family certainly know I do it, but I do it all myself! |
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Linda, 28, Houston, Texas My friends are very involved with my online dating activities. They’re the ones who encourage me to respond to every email even if they’re not my perfect mate. My family is not as involved with my online dating as my friends (they’re still old-fashioned). |
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Greg, 26, Fort Myers, Florida My friends are usually not involved until a few dates have gone by and I decide that I am ready to let my friends/family meet someone to give me their opinion of the person. I always allow the people closest to me to give me their opinion about whom I am dating, to see if they might notice something I am not. |
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Ross, 35, Lawrenceville, Georgia If I find someone I have interest in, I can show her profile to a friend and get their opinion, for red flags they see, conflicts in personality, etc. |
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Sasha, 28, San Francisco, California It's always a balancing act when to introduce friends to the guy I'm dating; my rule of thumb is to hold off a little longer than I think is wise because it's easy to err on the side of doing it too soon. Also, I find it's better to introduce the guy to just a few friends at a time rather than as a large group. |
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Daniel, 26, Antioch, California To be honest, I really do not include my friends in my online dating experience. To be fair though, I really don't include my friends in my offline dating experience either, just because I don't want people gossiping about my affairs of the heart. My friends know that I am dating around and they know I have met people online before, but until the right one comes, I don't want them getting comfortable with meeting my potentials. |
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Kari, 29, Chicago, Illinois Sometimes to take the pressure off of a first date, my friends and I will have a “group date” with people we have recently met online. Not only are we all immediately connected in our ability to be open about our online search for companionship and love, but it gives each of us a chance to see one another interact and relax a bit more than we perhaps might on a one-on-one first date. With so many different personalities, it’s hard not to have a good time, and if we click, there’s always plenty of time for evenings alone together. (I don’t really involve my family in my online dating activities.) |
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Mike, 44, La Grange Park, Illinois I tell my friends and family about my dates and meetings -- the good, the bad and ugly LOL (although I have not had any ugly ones as far as really bad encounters). |
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Julie, 38, Santa Monica, California My friends and family involvement is small. I only let them know when I am going on an Internet date. They want to know who and where. It is all about safety. |
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Matthew, 31, Minneapolis, Minnesota Really nothing more than seeking advice as to how I might reply to interesting responses in my in-box. I'm very independent and trust my gut feelings so, to the disappointment of friends and family, I don't involve them very often in my online dating activities! |
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Dawn, 29, Saint Paul, Minnesota I have to admit that I am guilty of forwarding many profiles to my friends to review before I meet with a prospect. I have also staged my friends to serve as a decoy on first dates to “save me” if necessary. |
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John, 35, Chicago, Illinois When I find someone online who seems interesting, I will often listen to my feminine side -- my sisters (all four of them!). |
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Megan, 24, Ann Arbor, Michigan Ultimately it's my decision whether to go out with someone who I've met online, but I love involving my friends in the process! Having a profile and picture of potential dates makes it easy for my friends to have an idea of whom I'm interested in, and they always put in their two cents about what they think. By talking and sharing my online dating experiences with others, I've also learned that some of my friends have their own profiles posted, or at least are looking at these popular sites. It's fun getting sent “Matches,” seeing someone a friend would be interested in, and passing it along. They do the same for me, and it's always entertaining to see who they think is "perfect" for me! |
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