About Dating & Relationships > Find Your New Love: A 90-Day Fast-Track Dating Plan

Do you want some hot new tips for finding your love online? You’re not alone. Did you know that finding love is one of the top New Year’s resolutions, along with getting in shape and losing weight? But how many succeed? How many have a strategic plan to achieve their goals?

To find your new love, let me provide you with a 90-day fast-track dating plan to boost your ego, numbers and odds. This plan will help you set goals and see results faster. You can benefit from the insights of hundreds of singles whom I interviewed for my dating book, "SMART Man Hunting: The Fast-Track Dating Guide for Finding Mr. Right (or Ms. Right)," which is filled with coaching success stories and well-tested techniques. Consider me your dating coach and cheerleader who is holding up a big sign that says “I Believe.”

Without a dating plan, you’ll want to stock up on romance novels for the long and lonely months ahead. Instead of waiting for serendipity to bring love to you, let this 90-day plan help you succeed. Be proactive and feel more confident inside by have more dating activity. You can significantly increase your love odds by refreshing your profile, playing the numbers game and checking compatibility along the way. Use my dating mantra, “Be patient and persistent, not desperate,” as your guide and you will find love online.

Your 90-day fast-track dating plan

First Month: Refresh your profile and photos

Second Month: Play the numbers game to win

Third Month: Check life-match compatibility

First Month: Refresh your profile and photos

This action plan is about making new starts, so why not start by refreshing your profile? As one wise man told me, “Life is about updates.” You want to be constantly making changes to enhance your dating approach. Is your profile ready to attract the dates that you desire? And if you don’t already have a profile, it’s time to jump in the game. Everyone else is doing it.

1. Write a Catchy Intro. Your introductory line is your online billboard to let people know that you are a hot commodity. Write a catchy caption using three to five words that will make them stop browsing through millions of profiles. Avoid boring statements such as “Hello” or “Looking for Love.” Instead, draw them in with bold and personalized intro lines such as “Lemon Drops and Lust” or “Fun Finnish Guy in Hollywood.”

2. Fill-in-the-Blanks in Your Profile. If your profile has any unanswered questions that are not completed, take the opportunity to fill-in-the-blanks. You want to have a complete profile posted online, especially the "About My Match" section. The more blank spaces (designated as "I'll Tell You Later") you have, the harder it will be for people to find you when they search for matches. Make it easier for matches to find you by adding data to your profile.

According to the Yahoo! Personals Poll, a good, descriptive profile was the most important factor in determining whether someone would respond to an email contact. See what else matters.

3. Add Sex Appeal to Your Profile Essays. Is your profile playful, flirty and fun? Attract the right dates and potential mates by adding more sex appeal to your essays. You can describe your favorite Italian dish, art festival or romantic comedy -- and why. You might write, “My favorite movie is ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding,’" because it had so many clever romantic scenes. If you are a romantic at heart, please apply here.” Share specifics to invite conversations versus writing a Hallmark Greeting Card that sounds like everyone else. See more of my profile tips here.

4. Add Fun and Flirty Photos. Do you have a typical big-smile photo online? Why not add a flirty photo with new twists? Ask a friend to take your picture with fun expressions and from different angles. You might be looking down or up, nodding your head to one side, or acting like you know a secret by placing one finger over your mouth with a mysterious grin. Posting fun photos and videos will invite more conversations online. Add playfulness to your profile with photos of your last vacation, favorite restaurant or action images. See more of my photo tips here.

Second Month: Play the numbers game to win

You are playing the Dating Lottery, and you only need one hit to win. If at first you don’t succeed, don’t give up. I interviewed a woman who dated online for three years before she found her husband. To find that one connection, it might take hundreds of hits. By making more contacts, you will significantly increase your love odds. If you want to play the real Bachelor or Bachelorette Dating Game, sign up for a three-month subscription, broaden your search criteria and get busy online.

1. Pump Up the Volume. You’ll want to send out tons of Icebreakers and emails and use Instant Messenger more to increase your odds of finding a sweetheart online. I challenge you to make 100 moves online within 90 days. When I interviewed a casting director for my book, she explained that she went out with five guys out of 100 responses to her profile. She married one of the five and explained, “That’s about the same odds as when I am casting a show.” You are casting for your own romantic epic -- so get cooking online. If you want a little help pumping up the volume, you can also sign up for a free Matches by Mail email. Yahoo! Personals will do the searching for you once a week or three times per week (your choice) and email you profiles of people who match your search criteria.

2. Expand Your Search Criteria. If your search criteria is too specific – for example, the person must have attended graduate school, earn at least $75,000, have blue eyes and blond hair, live within five miles – you are less likely to find matches. Think hard before you restrict your searches to certain eye or hair colors or birth signs. Would you really reject someone who seemed like a perfect match in all other respects just because they had brown eyes rather than blue? If your search results are not producing people who intrigue you, take a look at your Primary Search Criteria and edit these as necessary. Another technique is to expand the geographic area of your search, say from a radius of 5 miles to 15, 25, 100, even 250 miles. On the other hand, if you're finding too many results, search closer to home.

3. Write Short and Specific Emails. In order to increase your response rate, write short emails that share conversation starters. Write about one thing that caught your attention in their profile and then ask a question to invite a response. For example, you could say, “I see you’ve been to Italy. What was your favorite city?” You can also compliment them by saying, “You have a great sense of adventure. What do you dream about doing next?” See more of my email tips here.

Also see what the Yahoo! Personals Poll reveals about effective emails.

4. Be Creative and Playful. It’s OK to act like a kid again to spark romance. Be creative online with Yahoo’s Instant Messenger service, which includes fun graphics and sound byte options. My favorites are the “Hey Sexy!” cartoon and voice greeting options. Offline, make a party out of little things by showing enthusiasm and giving someone your undivided attention. Yes, turn off that cell phone, light the candles, order a pizza and open a bottle of Pinot. It’s the little things that add up in today’s fast-track world! You can add spice to your relationship year-round.

Third Month: Check life-match compatibility

Yes, it’s a process to fall in love, so check your Life-Match compatibility along the way. You need to make sure you share a chemistry connection, open communication and compatible life goals. You want to find out if someone is in the same relationship zone. Use these compatibility checks to make faster decisions about whether to “Add to Cart” or “Delete.”

1. Take the KISS Test. Focus your first dates on the KISS Test, which is simply deciding whether you would ever want to kiss your date. You don’t have to kiss them during the first coffee date, but you do want to decide if you are attracted to them. Your date will also be checking you out, so dress for success on first dates, keep the conversation light and avoid sharing too much information.

2. Give the Life Match Pre-Tests. After the first three dates, you want to give two of my Life Match Pre-Tests: 1. Emotional Availability and 2. Love Match. To even consider going the distance with someone, they must pass these two pre-tests. Find out if they even want a relationship by either listening for clues (if you hear “I don’t believe in marriage,” say Next!) or asking if they see a potential future with you (be direct, but avoid sounding needy). The second check is the Love Match Pre-Test, which will tell you whether you are compatible in bed. Is there mutual pleasure in bed? If the answer is no, you know it’s time to exit! Your date needs to pass both pre-tests early so you avoid wasting weeks, months and years like Bridget Jones did dating the wrong person.

3. Play the Life Match Game. To help you check compatibility along the way, my book “SMART Man Hunting” provides the Life Match Game. It’s a series of questions for first dates, second dates, third dates and beyond to encourage conversations on important topics. There is no right or wrong answer to any question – only opinions. You want to find out sooner rather than later whether you share similar life goals. Do your lifestyles complement or clash?

Make the Life Match Game a positive exchange of ideas. A first-date question could be as easy as “What do you like to do for fun?” On a second date, you might ask, “Tell me about the happiest time of your life.” Once you get more serious, you’ll want to start asking about lifestyle extremes. For example, you can both share the answers to these important Life Match questions:

How do you like to spend the holidays?
Do you want to have children? How many?
Do you write down everything you spend in your checkbook?

Love Happens

Once you find your new love, my recommendation is to celebrate a “Valentine’s Day” every month. Set aside time to romance your dates and potential mates on a continuing basis. In the end, you want to sound like the perfect match couple in "SMART Man Hunting." She told me, "There is a mutual respect for each other. He is one hundred percent behind me and I completely back him. If you are both striving to make your partner look good, you can't go wrong." In addition, he shared, “She is really my number-one priority in life, and maintaining our relationship is a continual process."

I believe you can find love online in 90 days using this new fast-track dating plan. If you refresh your profile, play the numbers game to win and check compatibility along the way, you can make love happen.

Happy Hunting!

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Liz H. Kelly is a dating coach and author of "SMART Man Hunting: The Fast Track Dating Guide for Finding Mr. Right (or Ms. Right)." Her proactive dating strategy has been featured on such shows as FOX News, BBC Radio, Dick Clark’s “The Other Half” and Lifetime’s “Speaking of Women’s Health.” Her dating tips have also appeared in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, USA Today and the Chicago Tribune. Look for Liz online at smartmanhunting.com.